In an attempt to not try and solve all my problems by myself, I went to the gynaecologist today. Warning: contains references to lady gardens and annoying doctors.

It’s always such a weird experience. They ask you to go behind a little curtain to take off your trousers and knickers and then just expect you to walk back into the room with your butt hanging out. Why even have the curtain?

It was only as I was hanging my butt out that I realised that not only do I need to trim the rose bush in my garden (literally. the branches are too long and the kids can’t get to their play house anymore. Yes! I’m talking about a real garden here), but I haven’t been paying attention to my other “gardening” needs. The lawns a mess and my legs are so winter ready that I can plait them.

Well, f it, I’m going to be uncomfortable, we might as well both be uncomfortable.

When I made the appointment I didn’t give any thoughts to maintenance or what “it” looked like (I mean, apart from those who vagazzle, who does?). My primary thought was, will they actually help me?

And after the pokes in the belly and examinations into too many holes, I’m back where I started: I’m going to have to figure this out for myself.

My endometriosis is getting steadily and painfully worse. Still, the only options they gave me are are hormones/contraception or pain killers.

With the severity of my morning sickness with S, I’m not touching hormones and the pain killers are just going to make my IBS worse. And honestly, it’s the IBS that I’m trying to fix.

IBS has many causes and I have successfully dealt with the food related causes. Drastically changing my diet and excluding the WIDE range of foods (thank you Montash University and your fodmap app) meant I was completely symptom free from July to Sep this year. Woohoo! That’s after years of constant symptoms. I never thought it would work. But it did.

But my endometriosis is getting worse and since the summer, the pain has gone up drastically. My IBS symptoms, although a little different, are back.

And my poor gut health lead to my poor mental health. And I’m not going back there. My mind means too much for me to lose it again.

Which is why I was prepared to get poked and prodded today. Because IBS is a symptom of/caused by endometriosis.

So what did this doctor tell me today?

There is no link between endometriosis and IBS.

WTF? Every teenage girl in the world knows there is a link between menstruation and digestion: we feel it every month.

This whole appointment really triggered my

“oh for f*cks sake, I’ll do it myself” reflex.

It’s a really strong trait of mine that I have been learning to let go. And I’m getting pretty good at it. I am a reformed perfectionist after all.

But even as I was muttering to myself

why did I bother?

I realised that the problem wasn’t with asking for help. I just clearly asked the wrong person.

So now I’m on the hunt for someone who does understand the link, that is willing to look past the standard approaches, who’s willing to work with me to find a solution that fits my needs.

So wish me luck. I have no idea where to find them. But my mind is at stake so the quest begins.

p.s. perhaps it wasn’t fair to ask him if he’s ever had a period. But if only I could get him into one of those labour simulators… then maybe he’d see living with pain, cramps and IBS a little differently.